frustrations

The track down to the sawah is not only steep wet mud, it's covered in rubbish. Hard to tell whether people actually dump it here or the stuff just washes down from wherever they do dump it. Twice i see glass bottles, another time a light globe. Adrian crushes something glass under his sandal. The woman coming down the path behind us is barefoot. I guess she knows to be careful.

Do you buy seed, or use your own? We ask.

Buy. We have to buy, this variety special, no good for seed.

Special. Hybrida.

Fucking hybrid seed keeping people like these guys buying more every season from the same bastards so that they can grow the same “special” variety every other farmer is growing which will need fertilisers and pesticides sold, amazingly enough, by the very same bastards.

Adrian is so disgusted he refuses to help plant the hybrid seedlings. I feel like i have to help; not doing so will not make some point but only reinforce the perception of whities as lazy and rich, too good to work. So i spend fifteen minutes helping ketut to prepare the ground. But made's reaction is not just surprised and confused, i think i hear shame.

You must stay, she tells me. You stay with maya. Not do this.

Do i have it wrong again? Have i offended her?

ketut and made have just built a new little house to live in, away from the extended family (well, 300m away). Wish i could build a house like this, ad responds to ketut's apology. the roof is asbestos. Brand new asbestos, bought especially. How is it still possible to buy new asbestos roofing??

dragging our fat arses back up the steep hill to the restaurant we encounter a handful of people, most of them it seems family of some kind. Each time ketut exchanges rapid indonesian with them, an explanation. Each time i hear the words anak bos. The boss' son.

Is that why we are here? If required to introduce ketut to someone else, i'd probably use the words my friend. Is this a lie? Am i kidding myself?

These and a dozen other such incidents every day are in my head when adrian replies to one of david's usual suggestions that he couldn't live in bali, and i'm inclined to agree.